Broken
by samleigh
Summary: Kind of a song Fic in two shots.
1. Chapter 1

Broken: prologue

The warehouse was massive and was full crates; so much so you could not see the other side of the expanse. Ziva could feel McGee behind her as they worked their way slowly in from the back door towards DiNozzo and Gibbs in the front. She saw the suspect from the corner of her eye. Spinning she leveled her gun in his direction. She felt McGee follow suit.

"Stop, federal agents" McGee yelled. The suspect just smiled.

Then she saw it the bulge underneath his jacket her eyes widen fear. Her head yelled not here this does not happen here.

"Bomb" she screamed unknowingly in Hebrew reaching her hand slightly behind and to the right pushing McGee back towards the door. Dropping the gun to her side she turned towards McGee with eyes wide pushing him out. McGee may have no idea what she said but he knew it was bad as he turned to run.

Gibbs and DiNozzo were still close to the front door with guns drawn when they heard McGee and started towards the other agents. Ziva's scream stopped Gibbs in his tracks he knew what she had said pulling DiNozzo back from charging ahead. Gibbs pushed him towards the front door "Run!" he demanded.

The explosion ripped though the warehouse pushing Gibbs and DiNozzo to the ground outside. Gibbs pulled himself up looking over at DiNozzo who was doing the same.

"David, McGee" Gibbs yelled into the small microphone.

For a moment there was nothing. DiNozzo pushed himself from the ground and started moving toward the back of the building with Gibbs behind him.

"I'm here."McGee's voiced strained through the ear piece.

"David" Gibbs called again. He watched as DiNozzo broken into a full force run. Again there was silence. "McGee do you see her?"

"I found her" McGee voiced crackled through the ears. McGee pulled a chunk of the building off an unconscious Ziva. "We need a bus" McGee yelled. He could see DiNozzo rounding the corner at full speed coming straight to them. "She's waking up" McGee added

Ziva began to pull towards consciousness. _She saw the pieces of the bus strew around her body on the street in Tel Avi "Talia" She screamed trying to crawling toward the burning wreckage but somebody was stopping her but there was no holding back the tears as the fell like a storm down her face._

McGee and DiNozzo both were holding her back so she could not hurt herself. This time her scream came out with more as a cry of pain and anguish. "Talia!"

DiNozzo pulled her back towards his chest. "It's over Zee" His voice penetrated Ziva's mind and her images began to clear and she felt her body relax into him. McGee face was blackened by the dirt wiped the blood from him forehead and finally breathed. He looked up questionably to Tony who just shook his head in response.

Gibbs knelt down next to his agents. "Ziva" he asked quietly. She was leaning back against Tony her head down on her chest. His words seen to pull her back to the present and she began to pull herself out of Tony's arms.

"I am fine" looking up finally. Gibbs gently pushed her back and Tony tightened his grip slightly around her.

"Stay" Gibbs directed her staring into her eyes. They heard the sirens coming in the background. They all stopped and felt lucky for a moment.


	2. broken

Tony pulled his Mustang into a parking spot in front of Ziva's apartment building. He felt unsure about checking up on her. Ziva had a hard time trusting anyone to be close enough to see her sad or what she termed as weak in anyway. He had that privilege once; before Jeanne and that whole crazy mission. He had burned her by lying to her directly. He could have easily told her, of all people, that he was working on something for the director. She would have understood she would have not questioned the details, she had been there. But, he didn't. At first it was because he didn't believe that it would have any impact on the rest of his life. Then he just felt guilty because he felt for Jeanne what he thought he felt for Ziva or was it the other way around. Lately, it felt more like the latter. He had thought endless about Ziva when he was agent afloat. He groaned as he pulled himself out of the car and towards her building.

After the explosion at the warehouse, McGee had taken her home from the hospital; then today she had called off to the surprise of everyone. Ziva never missed work.

At her door he could hear music playing behind the door, he knocked and waited but there was no answer. He knocked louder but there was still no answer. He thought maybe he should just walk away; but he didn't instead he pulled out his key. He had not used it years he wondered if the locks were the same.

Ziva had heard the knocking at the door; but she wasn't sure if at this point she could even get up off the couch. She heard the deadbolt slide effortlessly from the frame. She picked her gun off the table in the dark but she didn't move. She felt him move into the apartment closing the door quietly behind him. She saw him in the light of the candle at same moment he saw her. She tossed he gun lightly back to the coffee table. They both held the silence for a moment.

"If you are going to stay, grab glass from the kitchen on your way in" sighing, she closing her eyes as she spoke. Knowing this was the closes thing to an invitation he was going to get; he took a step to the right and into the kitchen and grabbed a glass before walking into the living room.

Ziva was sprawled across her couch with bottle of tequila over half gone on the coffee table. She lifted her legs up to give him room to join her but he walked past that side of the couch. He went to where her head was lying and motioned for her to sit up. She thought about arguing but she decided against it. She straightened out her legs and pushed with great effort the top of her up. He swiped the bottle and her pillow as he slid in behind her. He placed the pillow on his lap and pulled her head back into his lap. He could tell even in the candlelight her eyes were red and puffy. He took a shot of the tequila after looking carefully at the bottle.

"Tequila is not usually the best way to nurse a concussion" he broke the silence.

"It was not for the concussion" she responded quietly slightly slurring her words. "It was supposed to be a numbing process"

"How's that working for you?" he questioned.

"Well I am not numb yet does that answer your question" she said sarcastically as she turned to her side. She grabbed the bottle off the table and took a long drink letting the caustic fluid burn her throat. She reached out to place it on the table but was having trouble when he took the bottle slowly from her hand. He let his hand slowly smooth hair above her ear. They sat in silence for awhile listening to the music.

All of the music sounded sad to him, although almost all of them were in Hebrew and he did not understand the words. He finally heard the familiar strains of a song begin to play.

"This is me" she said softly not realizing she had actually said it out loud. She began to sing along softly as if she was alone in the room.

_The broken clock is a comfort_

_it helps me sleep tonight_

_Maybe it can't stop tomorrow_

_from stealing all my time._

Ziva felt tears running down her cheeks as she became lost in the song for what seemed like the millionth time that night.

_And I am here still waiting_

_Though I still have my doubts_

_I am damaged at best_

_Like you have already figured out_.

Tony felt his heart tighten. As he listens to her sing quietly he knew she was now crying.

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With a broken heart_

_That's still beating_

_In the pain_

_There is healing_

_In your name I find meaning_

_So I'm holding on_

_Holding on_

_Holding on_

_Barely holding on to you_

_The broken locks were a warning_

_You got inside my head_

_I try my best to be guarded_

_I'm an open book instead_

_I still see your reflection_

_Inside of my eyes_

_They are looking for purpose_

_They still looking for life_

I'm holding on to you Tony. Ziva thought. I don't know why I am, but I am.

_I'm falling apart_

_I'm barely breathing_

_With broken heart that's still beating_

_In the pain_

_Is there healing_

_In your name I find meaning so I'm holding on_

_Holding on to you_

_Holding on_

_I'm barely holding on to you._

_I'm hang out_

_Another day_

_Just to see what you will throw my way._

_I'm hanging on to the words you say_

_You said that I will be ok._

"It will be ok" he whispered as he kissed her temple.

He pulled her closer to him. She didn't sing anymore after that. She rolled over to face him burying her face into his stomach, curling her legs up to his side and cried. He wrapped his arm around her waist and smoothed her hair with the other.

She let him comfort her like he had after Gibbs left. She knew that she had just allowed him back into her space after all that had happened between them. She didn't know if this was a good idea but for tonight she trusted him with her soul.

Sometime after she fell asleep, Tony shut the stereo off and blew out the candle then he gathered her into his arms and carried her to bed. He laid there besides her watching her sleep. He wasn't sure where all this would lead in the morning but he was sure that he just found his best friend, again.

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Broken By Lifehouse

A/N This song has always reminded me of Ziva. I see her as being broken emotionally under her steely façade. I am not sure if this story captures the way I think Tony and her play off each other. I tend to believe that she let him in at some point during season 3 or right after Gibbs left. Tony hurt her twice the first with all the lying with Jeanne and when he froze her out of his life; then after it was over he pushed her away. He then was hurt by her when he realized that she trusted a perfect stranger in Recoil over him and acted out. I think now he understands his feelings for her better after being away from her but does not know where to go from here. Ok I am done musing now. R&R if you would like.


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